Toadsly’s Succinct “The Avengers” Movie Review: Superegos Collide

Monday, 07 May 2012 04:28

Written by Robert Biller

In 12 days, both here and abroad, The Avengers (TA) has grossed $641 million. Disney should replace iconic Mickey Mouse with a chubby “Cash Cow” as its megahit is on track to become the biggest moneymaker in cinematic history. TA is loud, long and exciting. The silly plot about the theft of “the” cosmic cube (the Tesseract) by Thor’s adopted brother Loki is just an excuse to bring Marvel’s superheroes together to retrieve it. Loki (Tom Hiddleston) has the most ridiculous costume – helmeted, he resembles a giant dung beetle. Hi-tech Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) has the best lines, but no-tech Hulk gets the biggest laughs. In the beauty race, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) just sprints past Thor (Chris Hemsworth)…maybe? Initially, the superegoed superheroes fight amongst themselves, but, just in the nick of time, they join forces to defeat an alien invasion spewing through a sinister-looking wormhole pulsating in the smoggy sky above New York City. The two coolest CGIs were the aircraft aircraft carrier (you’ll understand when you see the movie) and the aliens’ metallic, Chinese-like dragonships. The acting’s passable; the plot’s plodding and the prose, well, prosaic – throw in terrific action sequence after action sequence, and you have the perfect recipe for a gigantic summer-blockbuster (during springtime).

TA didn’t garner my rapt attention, however! During the final, epic battle ‘tween heroes and villains, I kept wondering how all those innocent civilians, being smashed and mashed, were going to afford their medical bills, if they didn’t have comprehensive health insurance – presidential election years’ll do that!

 Nitpicking aside, TA is well-worth the price of admission! Beats staying home and watching “reality” TV!