Posted by: Toadsly on Oct 22, 2011
Kate Bolick’s wonderful “All the Single Ladies” cover-featured piece in November’s “the Atlantic” is an eye-opening, brutally-honest assessment of today’s “romantic market.” Well-educated, accomplished, marriage-minded women searching for suitable male mates are at a disadvantage because fewer and fewer men are truly their academic and wage-earning peers. Some facts: Women outnumber men on college campuses 57% to 43%; women hold 51.4% of all managerial and professional positions; women earned 60% of all bachelor’s and master’s degrees awarded in2010; from 1970 to 2007 women’s earnings increased by 44% (men’s increased by only 6%); a 2010 study of single, childless urban workers, ages 22 to 30, found women earned 8% more than men; approximately 75% of the 7.5 million jobs lost during the recent “depression” were lost by men, and among African Americans, at all income levels, black women are pulling away from black men (black women are twice as likely as black men to hold college degrees).
What does this all mean? Well, according to Ms. Bolick, it means more and more women must choose between “deadbeats” and “playboys” if marriage is their goal. In other words, they can stay single or settle for Mr. “Good Enough.” (FYI: “Deadbeats” are men who aren’t well-educated and well-compensated; “Playboys” are well-educated and well-compensated men who exploit the paucity of their ilk and bed as many “desperate” women as possible.) Bolick makes a compelling assumption that, if these trends continue to accelerate, the marriage paradigm, as we know it, will radically change. Of course it will! That’s a no-brainer! Duh!
Detractors may accuse Bolick of “reverse sexism,” but as women delay getting married to pursue advanced degrees and employment opportunities they tend to think more with their brains and less with their hearts. Maturity is “romantic” love’s enemy. Cynicism increases with age and security strangles infatuation. Indeed, today’s get-married-for-love-and-stay-together-because-of-friendship philosophy may be replaced by a get-married-because-of-friendship*-and-then-fall-in-love viewpoint. (* By friendship, I’m referring to a man who doesn’t meet the woman’s romantic expectations, but has other attributes that make him valuable – like kindness, fidelity and housekeeping skills. You know, kind of like a talking, mop-wielding, vacuuming golden retriever.)
I was most dismayed by the plight of college co-eds. The ones Ms. Bolick interviewed are hooking up, frequently – via one-night stands. Their promiscuity is driven by competition to attract the significantly outnumbered young men. And although these women had experienced a lot of sex, none found it very exciting or sensual. (But I’ll bet the guys had no such complaints! I wish I were back in college! I wish I were back in college! I wish I were back in college!)
Hey, old male-chauvinist-pig Toadsly has a great idea: Return to communal living and emulate the “Perfectionists.” And it came from researching a reference Bolick made to the 19th-century Oneida Community located in New York. The “Perfectionists” who lived in this religious utopia (commune) believed Christ had returned to Earth in 70 AD, and through Him they were “sanctified”; meaning, they were incapable of committing sin. John Noyes’ followers were communists in the purist sense. Everything and everyone was community property! Marriage was abolished, and all sexual couplings between agreeable parties were permitted. Post-menopausal women were encouraged to have sex with young men, and older men sexually initiated inexperienced girls. Have all the sex you want – just don’t have it with the same person! What a stupendous idea!
These “Perfectionists” also dabbled in eugenics and encouraged the healthiest and brightest men and women to mate. Children were raised and educated by the community. In the quest for self-sufficiency, the community sent some members off to become much-needed professionals. Two graduated from Harvard Medical School. And unlike other contemporary communal societies – think Shakers and Harmonists – the Oneida Community was growing when the end came. John Noyes fled to Canada to avoid being arrested for statutory rape and soon after the community disbanded.
Free sex; free education; free medical care! What’s not to like?
I rest my case!
Several Fun Facts: After the community disbanded some of its former members founded the world-famous Oneida cutlery company.
Two former Oneida Community members are infamous: Charles Guiteau assassinated James A. Garfield & Leon Czolgosz murdered William McKinley!