Posted by: Toadsly on Jun 24, 2011
Well, PGPlussers, “Furry” fandom is coming to town this weekend. Furries bill themselves as anthropomorphics fans who dress up like cartoon characters, or fantasy creatures. Furries have many subcultures, but most of us are familiar with fursuiters – people who like to wear animal costumes. Wait a minute! I’ve just spotted one getting into a mica teal ScionXB. I’m knocking on the driver’s window….its opening…here comes my startling and exclusive interview:
Toadsly: Are you heading for Anthrocon 2011?
Furry: Wow, Sherlock! Nobody gets nothin’ past you. Say, aren’t you a furry?
Toadsly: Nope. Just a talking frog.
Furry: Whatever! What’s your fursona? Mine’s Squirtosaurus.
Toadsly: My name… sorry, my fursona is Toadsly. Squirtosaurus is kinda provocative. Ya know in a sexual way.
Furry: Not if your childhood nickname was “Squirt.”
Toadsly: Was yours?
Toadsly: Isn’t it hot in that dragon costume?
Furry: Only if you wear something underneath it.
Toadsly: Do furry conventions culminate in sexual orgies? Like on some TV shows I’ve watched?
Furry: This one won’t. It’s a classy affair. Furverts, as I like to call them, are in a minority. But they do exist. They are usually plushophiles (people who are sexually attracted to stuffed animals), and they enjoy having sex with their costumes on. Hey, it’s better than bestiality.
Toadsly: Yikes, bestiality! Nothing scares an innocent young frog like that horrible word! What’s this I hear about furries wearing diapers?
Furry: You’re talking about babyfurs. They’re furries who enjoy being baby animals and many wear diapers. Some enjoy having their diapers changed by caretaker furries. To each his own!
Toadsly: If most furries aren’t into kinky sex, why is there so much furry porn on the Internet? I got over 24,000,000 results when I Googled it? And it’s mostly hentai (cartoon) porn.
Furry: Well, if you Google peeing porn, you’ll get 103,000,000 results. That doesn’t mean most people enjoy peeing parties. It just means they’re curious. Same with furry porn, I suppose.
Toadsly: Great point! I’d better let you get going. Thanks for all the info. Anything else you’d like to add?
Furry: Just that Pittsburgh is a beautiful city, and most furries adore it. By and large we're just like you. Nice people who like to recreate dressed in animal costumes. Why don’t you drop by and give it a try?
Toadsly: No thanks. Halloween, for me, comes but once a year. Ribbit! Ribbit!